When Harry Potter Fans Get Bored
by SamManson
Summary: What happens when two HP fanfiction writers get incredibly bored? Complete and utter chaos in the wizarding world. No flames. R&R.
1. Temper Tantrum

WHEN TWO HARRY POTTER FANS GET INCREDIBLY BORED AND MAKE A POINTLESS, RETARDED STORY

**WHEN TWO HARRY POTTER FANS GET INCREDIBLY BORED AND MAKE A POINTLESS, RETARDED STORY.**

**WE LOVE YOU SO DON'T BE HATIN', YO. :(**

**HAVE A SENSE OF HUMORRRRRRRR.HARRY POTTER IS COOL. :3 AND DOESN'T BELONG TO US. HE BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING. JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT. D:**

-**--**

Harry: ASDFKK:SSJGDLSFA RON, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR CLASS YOU LAZY GIT. D:

Ron: BUT HAAAAAAARRYYY, MY KNICKERS FELL INTO THE LOO AGAIN...

Harry: WELL REMEMBER TO STAPLE THEM ON NEXT TIME.

-Hermione walks up to the two bickering boys-

Hermione: GEE WIZ, don't you think I'm just INCREDIBLY smart? I mean JUST LOOK AT MY MASSIVE NOGGIN! -pats head-

Harry: ...

Ron: ... Go away, Hermione.

Hermione: o-o -walks away-

-Suddenly, Hogwarts has a school bell!! It rings, signaling that class has started and Harry and Ron are screwed.-

Harry: BLOODY HELLLLLO, SNAPE IS SO GOING TO KILL US. Well, me anyways... Or Dumbledore... -shifty eyes-

Ron: :'(

Harry: UGHHHHHHH. I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE MY TEENAGE ANGST OUT ON... -looks around and spots Crookshanks the cat randomly walking down the hall-

Ron: DON'T HURT HERMIONE'S KITTY HARRYYYYYYYYYYYY. -cries-

Harry: -ignores Ron and aims his wand at Crookshanks- AVADA KEDAVRA!!11

Crookshanks: -explodes-

Harry: W00T.

Hermione: -was still standing behind Harry and Ron- oo

Harry: -turns around- Crap. 0-0

Hermione: What... Did... You... DO?! -runs over to Crookshanks' ashes- NOOOOOOO!!1111

Harry: -shrugs- What? We only put your poor cat out of his misery. :)

Hermione: -looks up, tears in her eyes- WHAT? MY CAT? THIS ISN'T CROOKSHANKS YOU DOLT, IT'S PROFFESOR MCGONAGALL!!11 0X

Harry: 00 ... -throws up-

Ron: OMFGGGGGGGG. -runs over to McGonagall's ashes and starts doing CPR- DON'T LEAVE ME PROFFESSOR! YOUR CLASS IS THE ONLY CLASS THAT I'M PASSING!!111 -cries-

Harry: -looks around- Okay you guys... THIS NEVER HAPPENED, GOT IT? -holds up Vaccuum Cleaner- Let's get rid of the evidence! D:

Hermione: -still sobbing- WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??/ WHY COULDN'T IT OF BEEN MRS. NORRIS?? OR MALFOY...

Ron: -still doing CPR- BREATHHHHHHHHHHHEEEE!!1

Harry: :) -walks up to MG's ashes and vaccuum's them up-

Hermione: Well now... I'm sure it will go unnoticed that one of the most important professors at Hogwarts just suddenly disappeared...

-the trio exchange glances-

Hermione: I'll get the suitcases.

Ron: I'll get the passports :D

Harry: C'mon, gang!

Ron: JINKIES, HARRY!

-the three run off-

--

-In McGonagall's Classroom-

-crickets chirp-

Student 1: LET'S ALL DISCO.

-a giant disco ball magically appears from the ceiling as the students jump onto their tables and begin to get their freak on-

--

-In the Great Hall-

Harry: -looks around- What're we doing here?

Ron: ... I have no idea.

Hermione: I TOLD YOU YOU NITWITS, WE NEED TO TALK TO DUMBLEDORE SO HE WON'T BE SUSPICIOUS THAT PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL HAS SUDDENLY VANISHED...

-the three walk up to Dumbledore who is staring blankly at a candle, drooling-

Hermione: -whispers over to Harry- He's learned how to sleep with his eyes open...

Harry: Ah.

Ron: That's whacked, man.

Hermione: -taps Dumbledore- Er... Professor?

Dumbledore: -silent-

Hermione: -taps Dumbledore once more- Professor...?

Dumbledore: ... -falls over to the ground with a loud THUMP-

Hermione: 0-0 Uh...

Dumbledore: -stands up- What can I do for you children :)

Hermione: ... Whatever. Professor, we just wanted you to know that... if you don't see Professor McGonagall in the next 2 weeks, there's no need for suspicion.  
She went to go visit her... mum. Her... very old mum.

Dumbledore: orly? I thought she died over 97 years ago. D:

Hermione: ... yes. She did. And if you don't see us for a while, we're... sleeping.

Ron: Or in the bathroom! Y'know, all of that good ol' fiber! ;D

Dumbledore: o-o -blink- 'kay...

Harry: SCREW THIS. -grabs a chair and whacks Dumbledore over the head, causing him to be knocked out cold-

Hermione: HARRY!!111111 WHAT THE BLOODY HELLO WAS THAT FOR?!1/1/

Harry: ... I blame my childhood. -grabs his suitcase- TO THE GETAWAY BROOMSTICKS! -runs off-

--

-At Hagrid's Hut-

Harry: -holding his Firebolt- LETS GO!!1

Hermione: Er... I have no broomstick...

Ron: -snorts-

Hermione: -slaps Ron- YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT I MEAN.

Hagrid: -opens the front door- Shouldn't 'yas be at class? oo

Harry: NO! WE DIDN'T KILL PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL!!1 Wait... I mean... uhh...

Hermione: -eyeroll- Nice, Harry. ee

Harry: -nudges Ron- Distract ol' Hagrid here while me and Hermione go untie Buckbeak who just happened to be visting Hagrid today... -shifty eyes-

Ron: 'KAY. -walks up to Hagrid-

Hagrid: -stares- oo

Ron: I love you, Hagrid. c: -snugs-

Hagrid: Ah, Ron, I... Don' steer tha' way if ya know wha' I mean... oo

--

-Later-

Hermione: -sitting on Buckbeak- OKAY LET'S GO AND STUFF.

Harry: -looks over at Ron who is still hugging a very scared-looking Hagrid- RON, LET'S GO YOU GIT.

Ron: BYEEE HAGRID WE'RE OFF TO VEGAS. -hops away-

Hagrid: -blinks and slowly backs away into his hut and closes the door- I think I'm gon' need therapy afer 'is... -cries and eats icecream-

-Harry, Hermione, and Ron take off, soaring over Hogwarts-

Ron: SO, VEGAS?

Harry: I MAY BE RICH IN THE MAGIC WORLD RON, BUT I SURE AS HECK DON'T HAVE ANY CASH IN THE REAL WORLD. SO NO.

Ron: REAL WORLD? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!1/! -cries-

Hermione and Harry: SHUT UP, RON.

--

-**the three fly off to... somewhere. Where? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER... I GUESS.-**

**No flames, please. We're Harry Potter fans jusssssssst like you. D: And we love you. Don't forget that.**

**AND YES, WE KNOW THAT THIS ISN'T IN STORY FORMAT. WE REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE PUTTING IT IN STORY FORMAT, EITHER. WE'RE LAZY. -cries-**


	2. Criminals On the Run

WHEN HP FANS GET BORED PART 222222

**WHEN HP FANS GET BORED PART 222222.**

**HARRY POTTER DOESN'T BELONG TO US AND ALL THAT JAZZ... BLAHBLAHBLAH.**

--

-Five Hours later-

-Harry, Ron, and Hermione are now about a mile away from Hogwarts-

Harry: I TOLD YOU TO GO TO THE BATHROOM BEFORE WE LEFT, RON.

Ron: -sniffle- Sorry, Harry... I... take a long time to go... ..

Hermione: No kidding. -stares at watch- 5 hours. Jeez.

Buckbeak: ASDFGHJKLASDFGGJHLDSFJASFKDJ. (I'M HUNGRY, BIATCHES.)

Hermione: I'M FLUENT IN BUCKBEAKIAN! He just said... He's into Hungarian beaches.

Ron: WOW! SO AM I!

Harry: -pats Buckbeak- We'll take you to a Hungarian beach as soon as we change our identities and win the lottery, okay?

Buckbeak: ASDFGHJKL... (Well this sucks...)

Hermione: Of course we'll buy you some hockey pucks, Buckbeak:)

Buckbeak: ...

Harry: -yawns- Even though it's 2:00 in the afternoon, I'm REALLYYYYYYYYY tired... LET'S LAND.

Hermione: But we've only just started! D:

Harry: I HAVE TO FIGHT VOLDEMORT, I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH SNAPE, I HAVE TO BE TORMENTED BY MALFOY... MEMEME!! I WANT TO LAND!

Ron: -cries- You're scaring me, Harry... ;-;

Hermione: Jeez, calm down, we'll land. e-e

-the three land-

--

-On the outskirts of Hogwarts-

Ron: -trying to make a fire with a blade of grass and a leaf- I WATCHED THIS ON A MUGGLE SHOW ONCE... STAND BACK!

Harry: -glares at Ron- YOU STUPID PRICK. YOU HAVE TO USE A ROCK AND BLADE OF GRASS.

Hermione: -sighs, lifting her wand over Ron's pile of sticks and lighting a fire-

Ron: OMG I DID IT!

Harry: NO FAIRRRRRRR. D:

ALL OF A SUDDEN!!

-A random dementor floats up to the group-

Dementor: 'sup.

Harry: OMFGGGGGGGGGEXPECTOPATRONUMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Dementor: D: -melts-

Ron: WHAT LUCK! WE'LL FEAST LIKE KINGS TONIGHT! -tosses Dementor corpse into fire-

Harry: -faints-

Hermione: Well... this was interesting.

--

-Later-

Harry: -groans, sitting up- Ughhhhhhhhhhh... I feel like Buckbeak sat on my face...

Hermione: Uh... He did actually...

Buckbeak: -shifty eyes-

Ron: EAT THE CHOCOLATE, HARRY. -smushes it in his mouth- I made it myself!

Harry: -pauses, taking in the taste. His face suddenly goes green as he runs behind a bush to throw up- THIS ISN'T CHOCOLATE, RON!!111

Ron: orly? SORRY HARRY. IT LOOKED LIKE IT, THOUGH... D:

-unpleasant barfing sounds are heard from behind the bush that Harry jumped into-

Harry: WHY DO I TASTE CORN?

Ron: ...

Hermione: -gags- This is getting seriously messed up... -munches on Dementor hand- Mmm, nice cooking by the way, Ron.

Buckbeak: -chewing on Dementor head- ASDFGHJKLASDF. (Not bad, not bad... needs more salt.)

Hermione: Yeah, I guess this is Harry's fault, Buckbeak... We wouldn't be stuck out here eating Dementor corpses if SOMEONE would've just controlled their temper...

Harry: YEAH, RON.

Ron: ... Wha-What? -cries-

--

-Back at Hogwarts-

Dumbledore: -wakes up- I had the strangest dream that Harry and his friends jumped me... AH WELL. -walks over to the doorway of the Great Hall, but is suddenly knocked over as Snape comes bursting in-

Snape: Headmaster... wha-- where are you?

Dumbledore: -drags himself over to Snape's feet- Good day Severus! It seems that I've lost the feeling in my legs... Anyway, what can I do for you?

Snape: I want a raise... I mean, I've discovered that our dear Professor Whatsherface has disappeared... you know, the one as old as you. Maybe older...

Dumbledore: Don't talk about Professor Flitwick like that! D:

Snape: NO! NOT THE TROLL TEACHER! Ugh... what's her name... McDonald?

Dumbledore: Debbie?

Snape: No... McLuckycharms?

Dumbledore: Oooh! Toucan Sam!

Snape: NO! It's... McGonagall, that's it. She's disappeared and her students seem to of used their educational time by throwing a party...

Dumbledore: Sweet, are we invited?

Snape: ...

Dumbledore: Er... I MEAN... Harry Potter and his two friends mentioned something about her disappearance. They said I shouldn't be suspicious about it. :)

Snape: Well where are Potter and his two lackeys?

Dumbledore: Well... They're either sleeping... or going to the bathroom... something about fiber. :)

Snape: ... I am -so- killing you someday... -walks away-

Dumbldore: Aww, you're such a kidder Severus! Goodbye! -starts to drag himself to the party at McGonagall's classroom-

--

-Back at Harry, Ron, and Hermione's Campsite-

Ron: And the cow NEVER saw the vampire scarecrow again... o-o

Hermione: ... interesting... I think it would've made a whole lot more sense if the cow didn't have butterfly wings... and lived at the circus...

Ron: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY PWNSOME STORY TELLING SKILLZ. -snapsnap-

Hermione: Yeah. Sure.

Harry: YOU TWO BORE ME. I'm going to go into the deep dark Forbidden Forest for kicks. Anyone want to join me:)

Hermione: o-o

Ron: o-o

Harry: FANTASTIC. LET'S GO.

--

**WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, SNAPE, AND DISABLED DUMBLEDORE? WHY AM I ASKING YOU?! FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 333333333. :0**


End file.
